Jets Head Coaches as United States Presidents

SO with the hiring of Todd Bowles the Jets have now had 16 Head Coaches in their history. So I decided to give the Head Coaches a comparison to a Former or current President. If there’s one thing that you guys don’t know about me is that I’m something of a history buff. So comparing my teams coaches to the Presidents of the United States seemed like a blog that should’ve been written a long time ago

Todd Bowles: Barack Obama

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They’re both the current head coach/president so I don’t really see any better fit than these two. We don’t know enough about Bowles to give him any other president so for now, Bowles is Obama

Rex Ryan: Bill Clinton

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The always entertaining Ryan shares a surprising amount with Slick Will. Rex had the foot fetish scandal, Bill had Monica Lewinski, Rex is a super charismatic guy who was great  with the media, as was Clinton. Rex has a gross looking brother, Bill has a gross looking wife. Perfect fit. Although it was intriguing to make Rex as Taft because of the weight thing but I decided against it.

Eric Mangini: Rickard Nixon

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Two really smart dudes who were just paranoid as fuck. Both Manginius and Tricky Dick who both underrated in what they did over the course of their tenures. Mangini drafted Revis, Mangold, Ferguson, David Harris and led the Jets to the postseason in his first year. Nixon created the EPA, ended the Draft, lowered the voting age and created affirmative action. Both had their tenures end prematurely, Mangini because of the Brett Favre collapse and Nixon because of Watergate

Herm Edwards: John F. Kennedy

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Herm and Kennedy both were succesful in their time as HEad Coach and President, but really have become more famous after their firing/death. Herm has gone on to become a big time anylyst at ESPN after coachin the Jets for 5 seasons and leading them to the playoffs 3 times, going 2-3 in those games. Kennedy ended nuclear armegedon, became the first Catholic president (Herm became the first black head coach) and set the goal to put a man on the moon.

Al Groh: William Henry Harrison

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Groh only coached the Jets for 1 season before bolting to coach the West Virginia Mountaineers. Harrison was president for 32 days before kicking the bucket.

Bill Parcells: Ronald Reagan

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Parcells took over the dumpster fire that was the New York Jets the same way Reagan took over for Jimmy Carter. Parcells went 29-19 as Jets head coach and took the Jets to the AFC championship in 1998. Parcells is considered one of the best coaches in Jets history the same way Reagan is looked at as one of the best presients of the 21st century.

Rich Kotite: George W. Bush

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Let’s put politics aside for a second. George bush and Rich Kotite are PERFECT matches for each other. The Rich Kotite era is looked at as the darkest days in Jets history. He went 4-28 with the Jets, including a 1-15 season. George Bush bankrupted the country and led the United States into like a bazillion wars. Both were in over their heads for the jobs that they held and both were run out of their offices with the dogs chasing them.

Pete Carroll: Jimmy Carter

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Carroll only coached the Jets for one year, going 6-10 and not really leaving any lasting impact. Jimmy Carter was a one term President who was really only there because the country didn’t trust another Republican President after the Nixon and Gerald Ford era

Bruce Coslet: Lyndon B. Johnson

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Coslet was all in all an average coach. Each of his 3 seasons provided hope, leading the Jets to a playoff appearance but injuries and inconsistency did in the Coslet era. Lyndon Johnson did good things as well, instituting the great society and sending a man to the moon, but the conflict in Vietnam was what did in Johnson.

Joe Walton: Benjamin Harrison

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Walton was the coach of the Jets from 1983-1989, making him the 2nd longest tenured head coach in Jets history. Walton is sort of a forgettable head coach in the anals of Jets history. He went 53-57-1 in 7 years with the team, winning 1 playoff game and never winning the AFC East title. I forgot that Benjamin Harrison was even a president. What harrison is known for is being the grandson of William Henry Harrison and was the President who was preceded by Grover Cleveland and succeeded by him.

Walt Michaels: John Adams

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Walt Michaels was the 2nd coach in Jets history to take the team to the playoffs. Although he had a 39-47-1 record in his 6 years with the team, he will be remembered for his 2-2 playoff record. John Adams was the 2nd President of the United States so I guess it makes sense. It’s getting harder to find these comparisons but this one is pretty solid. Michaels was an assistant coach for the Jets before being hired and John Adams was Vice President. Boom, perfect match.

Lou Holtz: James Buchanan

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Lou Holtz coached less than one season with the Jets, going 3-10 and abandoning ship with one game left in the 1976 season. Holtz’s time with the Jets was pretty much a disaster, but he went back to college and had a lot of success there including a national championship. Buchanan was the only bachelor to be US president (just a fun tidbit). He was the president right before the civil war and retired from the presidency after his first term. Another interesting fact about Buchanan was that it was rumored he had an affair with James K Polks widow. Buchanan was a forgettable, yet super interesting guy, much like Lou Holtch.

Charlie Winner: Herbert Hoover

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Charlie was anything but a winner for the Jets. HE went 9-14 in his 2 years with the Jets before being fired with 5 games left in the 1975 season. Herbert Hoover started the Great Depression sooooo you could say he kinda sucked as a President.

Weeb Ewbank: George Washington

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Ewbank led the Jets to Super Bowl III and is widely considered the best coach in US history. He was 71-76-6 as the Jets head coach. Ewbank was the first New York Jets coach after they changed their name from the New York Titans. George Washington is probably the best President in US history and also the first. This was an easy choice because of the striking resemblance in resume’s. Ewbank was formerly the head coach of the baltimore colts, but was fired in 1963 and came to the Jets. George Washington was a British General who came to fight for America. Ewbank took the Jets and eventually beat the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III the same way Washington led the American Revolution of Great Britain.

 

 

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