An Actual Preview of No. 2 Wisconsin vs. No. 4 Duke

Ok now I’m pissed off. I’m in the midst of papers, finals. projects that I’ve gotta take care of before the big game tonight and now I’ve got Odawg coming out of NOWHERE with the most outrageous claims of all-time. First of all., Owen you don’t even go to Duke! You have no dog in the fight! But I’m not here to publicly eviscerate Owen ….

Actually on second thought I’m gonna do it anyway:

1) Bro. You couldn’t even get into Duke if I genetically engineered you with 70 IQ points higher, that’s how asinine your sorry self is.

2) Only kids who have some serious self-confidence issues root for Duke. I get that they were good when we were young, but you have to outgrow that. If you have no significant ties to Duke University, and you willingly root for them, you’re a frontrunning asshole who deserves to be burned at the stake.

 

Ok now back to our regularly scheduled programming. I’m going to point-by-point refute Odawg’s absurd claims:

1. Calling it the battle for 1minutesports is another absurd branding ploy by him. He doesn’t go to Duke. I go to Wisconsin. Neither team plays in New York.

2. “Duke always wins the Big Ten/ACC Challenge” — WRONG. In fact, they’re only 13-2 in the Challenge.

3. “Our Coach is better” — I’ll let you have that one, but Bo Ryan is still the man. He’s no slouch either, with over 700 career wins. And he’s awesome.

https://vine.co/v/OnZ1JWTWVXP/embed/simple

4. “Our black guys are better” — Wisconsin has no black guys. So a moot point.

5. “Our white guys are blacker” — That is where I draw the line. Frank Kaminsky is a goddam thug, and much tougher than the prissy boys Coach K plucks off ‘good ole pappy’s’ cotton plantation in the deep South.

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6. “Our team chemistry is through the roof” — Bro not even CLOSE to the Badgers.

https://vine.co/v/Oni37xvXZJj/embed/simple

7. “There’s a reason we’re NEVER ranked out of the Top 10” — Just ignoring the fact you were outside the top-10 a decent amount last season.

8. “Wisconsin is a fad” — 13 straight postseason appearances, all under Bo Ryan. Not too sure that’s a fad buddy.

Duke consistently chokes in the tourney and that’s such a fact. I don’t have numbers but America knows it.

Ask Coach K and his butt-pirate gang how much they loved Madison the last time they were here? Let’s go. Send me a bottle of your tears in the mail, Odawg.

 

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