So yesterday the World saw the full Trailers (or teasers) to the new Star Wars movie and the new Jurassic Park movie. The only thing I like more than movies themselves is hype leading up to them, and these two films have no shortage of that. They’re two franchises being revived and if history tells us anything, it should mean that one of these will be a huge success and one will be a massive failure. So which will be which? They released their trailers on the same day so it’s only logical to come up with a Winner. I’ve never seen a Star Wars and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Jurassic Park movie so I think I’m more than qualified to be objective.
Twenty-two years after the events of Jurassic Park (1993), Isla Nublar now features a fully functioning dinosaur theme park, Jurassic World, as originally envisioned by John Hammond. After 10 years of operation and visitor rates declining, in order to fulfill a corporate mandate, a new attraction is created to re-spark visitor’s interest, which backfires horribly.
First of all, I love Chris Pratt. I loved fat Chris Pratt and he’s just amazing on Parks and Rec. The Lego Movie was amazing, he was really great in his first serious role in Zero Dark Thirty and Guardians of the Galaxy was surprisingly good. I don’t quite understand what this is though. The CGI Dinosaurs look really cool. That one water dinosaur that pops up out of the water to eat the shark was awesome. But Chris Pratt looks like I guess a mix between Indiana Jones and a Dinosaur Whisperer who they bring in when something goes wrong. That shot of him riding on his motorcycle that is supposed to be badass is just kind of stupid looking. I’m not sure what we’re following. Although the first trailer of a film is never really meant to explain a plot, it leaves everything super vague. No Jeff Goldblum sightings though.
Star Wars: Episode VII- The Force Awakens
So I had to pause this at the very beginning when the black guy popped up on screen. I don’t know why but I just started laughing. But then when I sat down and put the black storm trooper in the back of my mind the teaser started to look pretty cool. I know Luke Skywalker looked pretty badass in the drivers seat. Whoever the dark side person was looked like kind of a ganster, although I have no idea why they just walked over to a tree to take out their cross lightsaber, I guess for effect. But whoever that is I like their lighsaber so I’ll probably root for him. That robot was funny looking, a mix of R2D2 and Wall-E. But then when the Millennium Falcon was flying around doing it’s think that when I kinda got chills. That was really cool. Overall it did what a teaser should do, just highlights of the cool looking moments of the movie.
Chris Pratt vs. Luke Skywalker:
Chris Pratt was featured more in the trailer but Luke’s badass face was, well, badass. This is a tough one. I’m going to give this one to Pratt because he made up about half of the trailer. It’s only fair Luke.
Winner: Chris Pratt
We’ve got Chris Pratt riding a weird moped vs this chick riding something that looks like a space motorcycle. Chris Pratt just looks stupid on his ride, especially since he isn’t even going that fast. This girls is going fast as hell and even though she’s wearing some weird bandana or something she wins.
Winner: Stars Wars’s Space Harley
Water Dinosaur vs Millennium Falcon
When that Dinosaur popped out of the water I literally jumped in my seat and peed my pants a little bit. But when the Millennium Falcon was doing it’s this, that was easily the best part of the trailer and that whole thing the camera was doing just put me in a pretzel.
Star Wars: B-
Jurassic World: B
Neither wowed me, they both had their moments but in the end I guess I have to choose Jurassic Park. It’s tough because JP’s was a full minute longer so it’ll be interesting to see who wins the next battle.