College Football Recap


Big week in College Football. Huge. Playoff-shifting games. The playoff picture got a little more clear. It’s November. It’s big games every week. It’s why we love College Football.

The (big) Games:

#25 Wisconsin 34 – Purdue 16


But Grover, this isn’t a big game! It’s number 25 vs an unranked team! Who cares about this game? I do. I like Wisconsin. Baca goes to Wisconsin. 1MinuteSports is a Badger family. Deal with it.

Wisconsin continues its rout of the Big Ten. Melvin Gordon continues to be the best player in College Football (198 rush, 1501 yards, 21 total TD’s). Yeah that’s pretty good. Wisconsin plays two quarterbacks. They just swap them in and out whenever they want. Don’t like it? Too bad. It absolutely works/totally doesn’t work/still somehow manages to work.

#12 Baylor 48 – #15 Oklahoma 14


Okay so Baylor is good. Like really, really good. Like walk into Norman, Oklahoma and blow out the Sooners good. Baylor proved they’re a top ten team. Maybe even a playoff team if the cards fall the right way. What they did yesterday was downright impressive.

Update: Oklahoma’s uniforms yesterday were liquid hot magma.



#9 Arizona State 55 – #10 Notre Dame 31


Alright guys. Say it with me. Notre Dame is soft. S-O-F-T soft. They came into Sun Devil Stadium and got WORKED by the Arizona State defense. The ASU defense made Everett Golson look like a child, forcing 5 turnovers of the Notre Dame quarterback. Allow me to quote myself:

But this Arizona State defense is legit. One of the best in the country. I’m just drooling at the idea of the Arizona State defense vs the Oregon offense in the Pac 12 Championship Game.

Texas A&M 41 – #3 Auburn 38


UPSET CITY! Easily the biggest surprise of the week. Texas A&M came into Auburn losing their last three games. This picture pretty much sums up Auburns day:


So close! Auburn was losing 35-17 at halftime. They managed to fight all the way back, cutting the deficit to only 3 at 41-38. But then Auburn proceeded to fumble the ball at the goal line with two and a half minutes left. But no worries, they got the ball back! They had it on the Texas A&M 28 yard line with one minute left! Oh and then they fumbled the snap and lost the game. Oops.

Angry Gus Malzhan is angry


#6 TCU 41 – #7 Kansas State 20


I don’t have much to say about this game. No one really watched it because it was over pretty early and was on at the same time as Alabama vs LSU and Ohio State vs Michigan State. TCU is a legitimate National Champion contender. Kansas State is not.

P.S. Can Bill Snyder be any older? Dude is like five trillion years old and still coaching. I’m concerned he’s going to die on the sidelines. Someone talk to him about that.


#14 Ohio State 49 – #8 Michigan State 37


I guess Ohio State is good again? Whatever. They lost to Virginia Tech, so either their not that good or Tech should be in the playoffs. Just my personal opinion.

This was a really good back and forth game until Ohio State ran away with it in the fourth quarter. This great Michigan State defense didn’t look all that great. And Ohio State looked great and that eats away at my soul. Wisconsin will beat them in the Big Ten Championship anyway. Bi H8rz.

#5 Alabama 20 – #16 LSU 13 (OT)


Undoubtably the best football game from the weekend. Just some old school SEC football. Nothing quite like it. Alabama walked into Death Valley and pulled out a victory under the lights. I didn’t even know that LSU was allowed to lose in Death Valley at night. Legitimately did not think it was possible.

It looked like LSU was going to pull out the victory late in the game last night. TJ Yeldon fumbled on his own five yard line with two minutes left in the game. LSU decided to get a stupid penalty and drive the ball all the way back to the 20. They had to settle for a field goal with fifty seconds left.

On the ensuing kickoff LSU decided to squib it so that Alabama couldn’t return the kick. Good call right? Except the kicker kicked it out of bounds and Alabama marched down the field and kicked a field goal to send the game into overtime. What are you gonna do?


Alabama is just so good. Amari Cooper is good. TJ Yeldon is good. Defense is good. Just all around good. They’re the most talented team in College Football. Oh, and they have the best coach in the history of ever. I can’t understate that it is nearly impossible to win in Death Valley under the lights.

Is that a smile I see on Nick Saban’s face? No. It can’t be. He must have a twitch in his cheek or something.


#4 Oregon 51 – #17 Utah 27


The final big game of the night. A little midnight snack in the Pac. Kind of a cool down from a big day of football.

Utah scored a touchdown to go up 14-0 early in the second quarter. They’ve got Oregon on the ropes and it looks like they may have the momentum to win the ballgame. What? Oh never mind. Kaelin Clay was celebrating and dropped the ball before he crossed the goal line. Oregon picked it up and ran it all the way back for a touchdown while Utah danced in the endzone. 7-7 tie instead of a 14-0 Utah lead.


Now I know you’re not supposed to get on college players because they’re just kids and they make mistakes sometimes. But guess what. I’m younger than Kaelin Clay. So allow me to take liberty in saying this: KAELIN CLAY IS A FUCKING MORON AND SHOULD BE CUT FROM UTAH’S FOOTBALL TEAM. Holy shit how do you even do that? Just carry the ball into the endzone. It is literally the easiest thing you can possibly do. Just don’t be an idiot. Kaelin Clay is an idiot.

After that, Oregon never looked back. It just sparked them and they did Oregon things and won games scoring a trillion points like Oregon does. You know, same old same old.


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