WE FUCKING WON
Let that sentence sink in for a minute. The Youngblood’s softball, losers of 33 straight games, took to the field on Wednesday and did what no Youngblood’s team has ever done. We pulled down the opponent’s pants and spanked them silly. Remember when we only scored 1 run last game? Yea, well fuck that because we’re basically offensive juggernauts now. We dropped 26 FUCKING RUNS ON THEM. We had scored like 16 all season. I couldn’t tell you why or how or what made us do that, I can only hypothesize. Hypothetical situation 1, somebody on our team has a terminal illness and their make a wish is to win a softball game. Hypothetical situation 2, a space jam time scenario, where we took the talent from the best players in the MLB in order to play a softball game that determines the fate of the earth. That’s all I got on that
Let’s get into the nuts and bolts of this game. We went down 8-0 in the 1st inning and it looked a lot like I was going to have to kill myself. I can’t do a mercy I can’t do it. It eats at any semblance of pride that I have left in my body and makes me want to harm something significantly smaller than me, like a baby, or a puppy. But then, we did something crazy. We started to hit. And hit. And hit. We started scoring more than BacaBoom at a gay bar (just kidding Baca, love you). Sure, the pitcher had more trouble finding the plate than they did finding that plane in the ocean. But once we got on base, it was game over. Hits on hits on hits. Everybody on our team scored a run. And we had all 16 guys there. That’s a lot of shitty softball players to have on 1 team. But I had faith in El Capitan and there was nobody who failed to produce. Matty Simons almost went yahtzee in the 3rd inning blasting one over the head of the Left Fielder. He wanted to hit on the bookkeeper for the other team so he decided to hold up at 3rd and drop some serious game. Don’t hate playa hate the game. Carlino blasted a triple as well and so did king Kruse. Watching his fat ass rumble around the bases was almost as much fun as the win itself. Cha boy odawg went ½ with a run and for the first time this year no errors. However, if I had 1 complaint it’s that Matt Bumbaca robbed me of an RBI when he apparently didn’t know how to tag up from 3rd. Rookie move. And then came the 5th inning. We were up by 13 runs and had a chance to mercy them. We actually Mercy’d the OTHER team. El Capitan called it poetic justice, and that’s pretty much the only way to put it.
Our next game is on Thursday when we go in on a motha fucking winning streak. This is what it must feel like to win a world series.
Here’s the stat line.